By Kristi Ritter

With six children ages 4 to 12, there are bound to be some rough times for parents Jesse Terrell and Heidi Stanley when they join their two families on Labor Day in an intimate family wedding. It will be a time to celebrate the love they’ve found this second time around.

Terrell and Stanley each have three children from previous marriages, making for one big family when they’re all together. The size of their new family didn’t scare them though, as they focused on how all eight of them can grow even stronger with each other.

“The way that we’ve come together and grown with each other is amazing,” Terrell says. “I had come to realize that I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted my kids to see how a relationship works well, and what it’s like to have two parents who interact and support each other and the family.”

Terrell and Stanley met about three years ago. But the connection between their families started much earlier. Stanley’s dad is a pastor, and seven years ago Terrell’s parents began helping out at the church. After her divorce, Stanley started cleaning houses, eventually taking on Terrell’s parents’ home and his. “I cleaned Jesse’s house for eight months before we actually met,” she says.

On a day when Terrell came home from work early, he found Stanley still there. “I didn’t want to bother her so I sat out in the driveway for a while before finally making my way in.” Two weeks later, they went out on their first date.

The connection between them grew, and they found their conversation to mesh,
talking about their love for the same type of music, their passion in life and a maturity in each other beyond most people they had met. They came to support each other to get through things and be strong for their children.

The connection between everyone in the family was so natural that by the time they figured out how to make everything work, there was no going back, only forward into a life with one big family.

The children get along really well. Stanley’s three girls – Jade, 9; Jordan, 7; and Jennalee, 4 – live with their mother full-time. Terrell’s children – Hannah, 12; Andrew, 10; and Catherine, 8 – spend their time equally with their dad and mom.

Once the vows are exchanged on Labor Day weekend, the family will join officially under one roof in Boulder, where Terrell lives. However, they do hope to eventually buy a home in Longmont, where Stanley has resided. Although they aren’t in the same home yet, the family has already tackled many of the issues of parenting and acting as a family.

Blending parenting styles has developed a great partnership between the two, who have worked to become even stronger. “We always encourage each other, and Jesse is constantly learning and wanting to do better,” Stanley says.

“Heidi has really helped me with my parenting,” he says. “We have six individuals with different personalities, so it’s all about being more sensitive to all of their feelings.”

For Stanley’s girls, it took them a while to lower their guard and learn to trust Jesse after their father left. There are still a lot of questions they ask, such as if Terrell will continue to be there, if they’ll still see Nana and Papa and what they might loose when they move into Jesse’s house.

But the key has been to keep communication lines open. They continue to ask the
children questions and talk to them about all the changes. While the move hasn’t taken place, they know there will be some challenges in terms of change and a new home to address with each child. “We know it’s going to be different and we will deal with things. But at least we’ll all be under one roof,” Stanley says.

The scheduling of the big family will be a tough challenge, especially for Stanley, who will be holding down the home front. “I love it though. That’s what being a mom is all about!”

With a solid foundation in place for family, structure, routine and togetherness have become more important. While school routines will soon take over, weekdays in the summer have been spent at swim lessons and having fun at local parks. Saturdays have become a big tae kwon do day for five of the children taking lessons. Sunday centers around their faith in God and devotion to church in the morning, rest and relaxation in the afternoon, and family fun night. Playing games has become a lot of fun, while they all cook dinner together, make popcorn and watch movies, and even play tickle. However, Terrell admits that with six children against the two of them, they usually lose.

At the top of their list, however, is spending time together. “I love the feeling that we can be whole again and that we have found love in each other,” Stanley says. “Everyday we’re thankful that we’ve been given this second chance.“

While Terrell and Stanley realize it’s not possible to do both roles in parenting, the respect they’ve found for each other gives them the support they need to raise their children. “We’ll tag team it,” Terrell says. “I love knowing we’ll grow old with each other.”